Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
