You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
