i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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