So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
