You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
it's like iHOP with fire
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*