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• (925): View more from California

  He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  where's my purse there's an important taco in it

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Drunk walkin through police station. America

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (562): View more from California

  I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.

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