So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
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One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
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View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment