Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin

(954): View more from Florida

Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language

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(516): View more from New York

i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.

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(301): View more from Maryland

it's like iHOP with fire

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be

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You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(347): View more from New York

GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES

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(443): View more from Maryland

No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."

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(775): View more from Nevada

You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe

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(703): View more from Virginia

*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*

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