Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
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I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
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Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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