Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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