he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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