Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
