you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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