I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Found the puke drawer
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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