nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize