There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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