Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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