We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize