I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
