I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
