I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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