I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
try to milk me bitch
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