Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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