all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize