So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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