He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
