it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
