yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
