ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I enjoy the company of your penis
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
