i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
