omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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