Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
