She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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