I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
