I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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