Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
