Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
