How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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