My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
