I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
