I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
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I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
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My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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