If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
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Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
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THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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