Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The uberlube is also flammable
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.