The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.