I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm