Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
