Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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