i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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