Umm I'm too high to move.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
