im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize