Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
So much Jack, so little girl.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
