Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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