She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
