'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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