I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I stole a fireplace last night.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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