theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
tell me about the eggs
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