At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
