I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
