I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
