I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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