awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
