she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
