If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
