at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
