Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize